Lost.

Hey everyone I know I haven't written a post in a long time. I've honestly been going through a lot of stuff where I haven't had a lot of motivation to do the things I love doing. But I finally did a video at the end of October on my Youtube channel for a Halloween look. I'll leave the link HERE.
I kind of wanted to talk about something a little more personal today since I've noticed not many people look at my blog. Since I'm a very private person, it makes me feel like I can be a little more open on here since not many people read it. Lately I've noticed I have been very down and I have no motivation to do what I want and what I need to get done. I feel really lonely even when I'm surrounded by my amazing friends and family. I'm not sure why exactly feeling like this when there's nothing particularly too bad going on in my life, and believe me I've gone through some serious shit. But I've been noticing this kind of sadness and behavior from others my age and I can't help but wonder if I'm just going threw depression and seeing everyone else the way I'm feeling. Or are those people my age going threw this silently with me and not knowing how to respond to life right now. Life feels so crazy and so stagnant at the same time I always feel like I'm going 2 steps forward and 1 step back. I'm pretty sure that others feel as lost as I do right now.

If there are any others feeling pretty weak right now I wanted to share this little speech/poem I found a while back. I don't know if it will make sense to most of you or make you feel a little better, but it does to me. It always reminds me of the things my mother told me when I was younger when people would hurt me. Things that would make me feel a little stronger and keep me going. I hope this helps some of you too.

I hope everyone has a good day.

Additions to my nail polish collection

Left: Hard Candy in 771 Tinsel Town

Right: LA Colors in Glitter Bomb

Top: Elf nail polish- bottle didn't have the name

Bottom: Sinful Colors in 830 Pinky Glitter

Left: LA Colors in Frill

Right: LA Colors in Flickr

Top: Sinful Colors with gel tech in 1218 Banana Appeal 

Top: Revlon in 571 Posh

New Kitten!

Hey everyone!
So I lost my cat/child Luka, like over a month ago and we haven't been able to find her. I miss her very badly but I think someone found her and kept her :( So I don't know if she'll ever come back home...
Fortunately we got a new kitten last Thursday and I've been so busy with work and other things that I haven't blogged about it yet! We named her Star and she is definitely a little princess! We originally got her and her sister but we could only keep one of them so we decided to keep Star. I'll miss Rain very much though :(

The black kitten is Rain and the calico is Star.

Any of you who follow me on Instagram know that I'm a crazy obsessed cat person who would have a house full of cats if I could. Anyways I just wanted to show you all how cute she is and warms your hearts with cute kitten pics :3

SHOUT OUT~HOLLA

Awww this made my day :D
check out  Maggie Verderosa and Hannah Diamond too everyone :)

I'm back!

So I decided to start blogging again because I feel like there's enough stuff going on in my life again that I don't mind talking about. The last time I had my blog was when I was about 18? Haha I believe that's right, but any who I'm 20 now and I think things are starting to look up for me after going through some extremely difficult times between the years of 17-19. I feel like I've grown up a lot and look at life so much differently then I did before. For any of you who are reading this I'm guessing you are some of my YouTube subbies which makes me happy because then you can get to know me more  :3 

Some positive things that have happened lately is that I finally got a job!! It took so long! Personally I think I had a hard time because of the way I used to look...

*you can't really see my piercings in this pic haha but you get the idea*

With piercings and crap to the way I look now.

It isn't really fair that I had to change the way I dress and take out all my piercings to even get a job because I don't think that your appearance has anything to do with your work ethic. But where I live it was the only thing I could do left. At first I felt really awful that I had to change because I didn't feel like myself anymore. But eventually I got used to it and I actually like the way I look now better then I did then. I'm still the same person, I still have the same likes, interests, morals and beliefs that I used to I just look a little more grown up now haha. Which is good because my appearance now reflects the way I feel inside.

Wow I didn't mean to get all weird on you there haha. 

But if any of you are transitioning from a teen to an adult then you know how I feel.

Anyways! I got a job at Macy's in the fashion jewelry/watches department and I'm really happy working there. Especially being able to touch jewelry and watches all day long haha ;)

*Yeah that's my real name. But I've been called miki since I was really really little*

I've been working so much though I haven't had the time to make YouTube videos and that's been bumming me out lately:/ but I did make a new video on Lana Del Rey makeup so you guys should go check that out on my channel ;)

Okie so I know I'm rambling cuz I have a lot of thoughts going on in my mind that I want to get out but that's why I got my blog back haha.

So thanks for listening to me ramble and I will be on here a lot more now. I hope you all have a good day/night wherever you may be from<3